Saturday 9 December 2017

Meet the neighbours


Queen Victoria and the crow aren't my only near neighbours. This bloke spends all day and all night at the window, staring at me. His eyes follow you around the room. Our room.

For years, we have been entirely unaware of the presence of next-door neighbours, then an American couple with a small dog moved in.

It took me a few months to understand that the shouting, cajoling, encouraging words that she virtually screams every morning were not some form of weird sex with her silent partner. I tolerated it for so long out of embarrassment - hers, not mine.

She shouts in a room right next to my bedroom, so it is an indication of the volume that I can hear her at all through the thick walls, let alone actually make out words. She would often start at around 4.30 am and keep going until mid-morning. When I heard her shout, "Good girl!" over and over again, I began to suspect she was a lesbian, such was the effect of sleep deprivation.

During last Summer it suddenly dawned on me that she was shouting at the dog. That was when I resorted to hammering on the wall - with a hammer. The shouting immediately stopped.

She now begins tormenting the dog at about 8.30 am, when all hard-working, decent people should be up, washed and off to work. I am not a hardworking, decent person.

Christ knows what she is doing to that dog with her four hour incessant screaming sessions, but I would think that it - by now - must be the most neurotic animal in town.

23 comments:

  1. I cannot abide people who yell at their dogs. It's a sign of a bad owner and someone who needs anger management. These kind of people shouldn't have kids too

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    1. She is not angry with the dog. She seems to be playing with it or encouraging it to do tricks or whatever.

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    2. But I agree that she should definitely not have children if that's the way she is go to play with them!

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    3. Shouting generally is not good for dogs it encourages them to bark

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  2. She sounds like she is lacking something.

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  3. I much prefer yesterday's neighbour. I am guessing you do too. Queen Victoria all the way.

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    1. Crows are very charming creatures, but they do often use foul language.

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  4. Replies
    1. See my response to John. She is not shouting in anger.

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    2. John still plays the trump card. Don't yell, kids or dogs.

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  5. She sounds like a nut. The poor dog.

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    1. I have come to the conclusion that she is a nut - a very loud nut.

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  6. I have often envied your living in the 'compact but adorable city apartment' in a city that I love.

    Now I don't. I have my little cottage in a village in the far North and although, it has to be said, we have some t**ts around here, at least their bedrooms aren't next to mine :)

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  7. I rarely hear the neighbors, but I do hear their poor dog when it's left alone for any period of time.

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  8. Sounds as though she is making you neurotic too Tom.

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  9. My neighbour has had 3 noisy builders working for him for the past month or so. The boss has a high pitched voice, and doesn't stop shouting ALL DAY LONG. With no wall to bang on; I'll just have to wait till they're finished.

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    Replies
    1. Why do builders and scaffolders have to shout at each other all day?

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  10. Now that we have moved to our detached bungalow, even though it's a complete tip due to ongoing work, I am so relieved that I no longer have to endure the morning routines of our former neighbours and their screaming child, beginning at 6.20am when they first hit the snooze button. Silence is most definitely golden.

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    Replies
    1. That must have been hell. I am very lucky by comparison.

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