Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Viking invasion next


My Hamburg mate has just sent me this picture with the comment that no English football team has ever won a match against an Icelandic one in the European championship in the past, so not to feel so bad about it.

And I thought that I would not be mentioning England's exit from Europe again today. You never know how things are going to turn out.

Monday, 27 June 2016

Anything you say may be taken down...


Monday morning, and the Chancellor went out early to give us the wonderful news that Japan's exports are now rocketing thanks to Brexit doing for them what they have been trying to do for themselves for years - devalue the Yen.

Personally, if there is one good thing to come out of this, it is the promise of not being bothered by late-night emails from some disgruntled bloggers who do not know how to find the 'off' button on their computers, but I have had these promises many times before and - as with many other things - I don't take them seriously.

There are all sorts of ways of escaping reality, and last night it was watching Coldplay live at Glastonbury. Then the bastard just HAD to mention Brexit, and I was thrown back into the here and now. Not only the here and now but tomorrow, which is now today - Monday, and back to school.

For John, it was a whole platoon of uniformed police, marching up to a tattooed member of the public, stopping to face him as one of their rank stepped forward, knelt on one knee, proposed, was accepted, then stood up to a full-blown snog in front of the general public, with parents photographing the event for posterity. My father would have been asking how much this cost the public purse, but anything which makes the police appear as human as the rest of us is money well spent as far as I am concerned.

I must say though, that I really do not understand public proposals of marriage. I find them cringe-making to watch, and the best/worst one I have seen was when a man proposed to a woman, not only in public, but also on national T.V. and she refused him. Now THAT takes courage.

I think if ever I was to propose to someone, I would like a platoon of police to be standing behind me to make sure that my fiancé gave the right answer.

Sunday, 26 June 2016

Genies and bottles

So you thought I would shut up about the E.U. Referendum? What do you think this is? An episode of The Archers? Anyway, I have a job to do - finish off Groucho using nothing but boredom. I see it as a challenge.

Also anyway, H.I. has been thrown into a deep depression about it all, so I am finding it hard to divert myself with brass candlesticks. A friend of hers - no, two friends actually - have called her up because they 'just needed to talk to someone about it', and one of them (the female one) was in tears.

Last night, H.I. persuaded me to sign the petition for a second referendum, even though I said it would be a complete waste of time. Ok, they may be forced to briefly mention it in parliament (especially now it has hit almost 3 million signatures), but can you imagine anyone in government  - or anyone left in government - saying, "Sorry! Made a bit of a mistake! We didn't mean it!"?

Dee Em - over on a previous post - said that he/she could not see any difference in his/her day-to-day life since the referendum, so what was I ranting on about?

Well aside from being a little on the impatient side (it was only 2 days past, after all) I am wondering if she (I think it's a she) has gone back into the cupboard she crept out of to lose her sense of humour with me.

Has she not noticed how both the Labour and Conservative parties are tearing themselves to shreds at the expense of the country? Corbin has sacked Hillary Benn for mounting a vote of no confidence in him, so most of the rest of the shadow cabinet will resign on Monday as a result, leaving no opposition to Cameron or his successor at all, not that they need any.

Cameron has paved the way for the far-right of the Nasty Party to team up with UKIP by simply washing his hands of the whole business - the very morning of the vote count.

Scotland will definitely win the next referendum to break away from the United Kingdom, thereby destroying the Union for ever, also simultaneously destroying Britain's nuclear defence capability - whether or not you want it.

With a little help from a handful of other E.U. countries, the E.U. will disintegrate very shortly and bring about yet another world financial crisis before we have even begun to get over the last one, and Russia could well feel confident enough to move back into Poland and the Eastern Block, with nothing but NATO to limply protest about it.

And three days after our referendum vote has been counted, Dee Em can see no change to her day to day life? Seriously? Maybe she will notice when the price of vegetables goes up in Waitrose, not that they need any excuse to raise them.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

How do you feel?


Day two of our new, exclusive diet of baked beans straight from the can, and I can honestly say that I cannot notice any appreciable difference as I look out of the window. The sun still shines as much as it ever does during a British Summer, and I am still getting cold-calls from Indians who think I have something worth stealing.

Yes, it is only day two, but already the triumphant (marginal) voters of 'LEAVE' are telling the (marginal) losing voters of 'REMAIN' to stop moaning and generally shut up about it. That's what I call ungracious, and I would have thought that they would at least allow us a week of bitching before getting bored with it. It's day two, for Christ's sake.

In the pub last night, a group of elderly voters got together to talk about it - not for long, but not to even mention it would have been an elephant in the room so large, that there would not have been enough room left for ordinary customers. It was, after all, only day one.

"How do you feel?" one women voter asked me, and I had to say that I felt strangely depressed - not suicidal, just a bit cold and lonely.

"How do you feel?" I asked one elderly, male, self-confessed UKIP voter. Strangely - especially to him - he admitted to feeling uneasy and uncomfortable about the outcome which he had helped to bring about - something verging on a feeling of guilt.

After a while, we all began to notice that no matter which way we had voted, the outcome of the referendum affected us all in the same way, and had left us with a nagging feeling of uneasiness, as if we really had wantonly broken that toy and thrown it out of the pram.

Someone else observed that even those of us who had remained undecided until the last moment, were experiencing the exact same feelings, and this was a phenomena which none of us had ever witnessed before.

I had an email from my Hamburg friend yesterday, and he told me that all Germans felt like the bride who had been left, jilted, at the altar. They are even talking about the exit arrangements in terms of 'divorce proceedings', so it could be a bad case of polygamy.

Now why should this be? If it were just a case of walking away from global financiers or career bureaucrats, then we would not feel so sheepish.

Maybe the notion of a European family of ordinary people coming together for the common good had a tiny little bit of truth to it, even if it was only in our imagination?

You see - prior to yesterday, I would not have dreamt that these words would come out of my mouth.

Friday, 24 June 2016

I have a dream...

I now have a purpose, intimated to me by God in a dream this afternoon.

Wessex extends from Winchester to the borders of Kerno, and I and my kin shall rule it forever more.

There are no obstacles in my way now that the intermediary Icinii tribes have been routed by the Roman legions, and it should not take more than about 50 years to rebuild the wall that Hadrian built against the Northern savages, who will - in turn - be granted a recount by the Gallic war-councils who we have already made peace with.

Now get this straight, ye unbelievers - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A 'GREAT BRITAIN', NOT EVEN A 'GREAT' AMERICA, NO MATTER WHAT THAT ARSEHOLE TRUMP SAYS!

'GREAT', AS IN 'GREAT BRITAIN', REFERS TO A LITTLE GROUP OF ISLANDS 30 MILES TO THE NORTH OF GAUL! IT SHOULD BE, MORE CORRECTLY, REFERRED TO AS 'GREATER BRITAIN'! THERE IS NOTHING INTRINSICALLY 'GREAT' ABOUT OUR LITTLE SHIT-HOLE OF AN ISLAND, NOW THAT WE ARE NO LONGER A MILITARY AND NAVAL  EMPIRE!

QUEEN FUCKING VICTORIA HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SOME TIME NOW, AND THE HUNDRED-YEARS WAR AGAINST THE FRENCH HAS BEEN OVER FOR EVEN LONGER.

Sorry to shout.


Unscrambling eggs

This title was inspired by John's reaction on his latest post.

On Monday, the leaders of the remaining 27 countries are going to get together in a locked room to decide the best way of punishing Britain without harming themselves any more than we did last night.

I did not think that I would be so depressed about this outcome, should it happen, but I had an image just now which makes more sense of it all than anything else right now.

The general atmosphere in Britain this morning now reminds me of a child who kills another living  creature for no better reason than to see what it feels like, then is filled with remorse for his deed which cannot be undone.

£200 billion gone overnight


Here we go - I don't know where, but we're off.

You know the worst thing about Britain's exit from the European Union is not so much the financial impact (which has already begun to happen in a big way), it is the mandate given to the far-right nationalists - not only here in Britain, but all over Europe, if not the entire world.

One good reason why Germany and the other strong three will not make things easy for the U.K. now that it has decided to leave, is the worry that if they do, then many of the remaining 27 will be queuing up to get the same trade deals and concessions, causing the total collapse of the E.U. We are definitely in for a very rough ride indeed.

David Cameron has resigned, leaving the job open to hard nationalists like Boris Johnson and Gove. Can you imagine?!

Already, a Polish ambassador has been on British radio, trying to calm down all the Poles who currently work here, and he will not be the last - we have many other nationalities doing good work in this country.

The Governor of the Bank of England has been trying to calm the markets down as well at 8.30 this morning. They have contingency plans in place apparently, and these include more 'fiscal easing' or bail-outs, but I bet they don't include the protection of private pensions.

I was just thinking about what Europe would feel like if it reverted back to individual countries with tight borders. Safer? I don't think so.

I have to go to the Post Office to pick up a parcel today. I think I will cash in our Euros at the same time. You can get 1.25 to the pound today - 25% more than yesterday.

Or should I wait? It could get worse.

P.S. Boris Johnson is one quarter Turkish.